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Showing posts from 2009

A stepping stone? I haven't tripped yet.

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Well, here I am currently abiding on a coastline...far away.. How did I get here..I think that destiny has brought me here, yet I am cold and it's dark and dreary most of the time. I have realized that I am resting. Sometimes it's a long way down before we can get the strength to get back up. I have developed my strength to say no to the toxic people that I have encountered in my life and I have learned since my last cancer that I enjoy my own company. I believe that this is the key to happiness. This "Little Norway" venue is quiet and has given me time to reflect on my life and accomplishments and most importantly how I can make a difference...
I have tried to connect with my family but I have had a light bulb moment and realized that it's not something I did, and people in general can be cruel, even family...no, I am not mad any longer or sad...I am ambivalent. I have travelled out here not to connect with anyone but myself. We can all develop with the help of t…
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Dear God, I pray for the cure of cancer. Amen/ In memory of anyone you know that has been struck down by cancer or is still living with it.
I have recently been reminded that I have inherited the breast cancer gene. I have encouraged my daughter to be tested, as well as my sister...I pray that they heed my advise. It is Breast cancer month and we should all be aware that modern medicine has give us the gift of a prick of a needle and a potential cancer can be stopped in it's tracks...there is a very high percentage of woman that have opted to have prophylactic mastectomies to avoid this insidious disease. I am on a campaign to bring this knowledge to as many women as possible..please, heed my advise and spend the time and yes, even the money if needed, to discover if your chances to fight for your life and be a "thriver" is in your future. I will be seeking out agencies that help people financially to obtain this testing. Stay tuned for more updates.

A time to go back in time...

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I have not disappeared into outerspace everyone....I had some surgery and developed an infection from the IV, and unable to get out of a sling for quite awhile ...also there's the moving thing~
I went to visit my brother in Northern GA a few weeks ago and we had a great time..
I realized that we never really knew each other at all, in the past. It has been a long haul to get back to being brother and sister...he is the only real sibling I have...I learned that life is so much nicer when life is simpler..and slower.
Now I must decide where to move and it's killing me. I should be happy and jumping out of my skin. No responsibilities, except what I want to do. That's a first!..and it would be nice to be near my neice and nephew....but I have to be selfish for once anad think about many things that may compromise my medical condition...
If I do move to the South, I am once again, donating alot of my furniture to women in safe homes..I have been so busy getting this condo s…

~On Being a Spiritual Warrior~

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Lately I have been feeling down
feeling sorry for myself
but than I looked out the window
a rainbow had appeared
and that is when I realized that I was put on this earth to help others...get through the hard times, but also to dream, create,and live each day as if I had been given a gift..to live in the present..how much more can I ask for....
I am hoping that I can be a spiritual warrior for others..
right now, I am trying to travel that path alone..and alone is not where I need to be.
Crisis teaches us to travel to a better place; it is a beginning of a new time in our lives.

~Finally~

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I had my second surgery two weeks ago. I have been thinking how lucky I was this time with my choice of a new surgeon. It truly matters implicitly, who you choose. It is so important to have a team around you that really respects you. I was treated with dignity and the little questions that the surgeon didn't tell me, were answered by my fellow NewYorker plastic surgeon's nurse..it meant so much when I woke up from my surgery, and she was standing there sporting a smile and sense of concern. She was carrying a bag of pretty bras for me to adorn myself. I smiled and realized that sometimes we must drive through the storm to see the sun...
I have much more to let you in on...
I would like any questions regarding reconstruction, no matter how small you might think they are...believe me, they are not..to the placing of pillows when you sleep to how much you should and can do, and for how long..the smallest things can mean so much...ex. don't count on anyone coming to help…

The Pink Ribbon on Facebook

when we must make choices....

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I have been becoming a bit despondent lately and it has been a roller coaster ride....I have trouble sleeping, and than at about 2-3 pm (used to be 4 pm) everyday, I am hit with overwhelming fatigue...I can't keep my eyes open and it puts a fear in me when I get behind the wheel, but I have no choice..I must press on..Today was a good day; though the fatigue hit me hard at 3pm, I was happy to see a smiling and magnanimous plastic surgeon, caring and hopeful; what a difference from my last experience..He is kind and empathetic..he was wonderful, and his assistant was from Scarsdale, NY! my home town! I tried to hold back the tears, when I realized that the only way to find out the truth was to have my magnet expander's FINALLY taken out..it is a relief, but still, very frightening to be alone and facing a major surgery. A possiblity than after a approximately month of convalescing and not being able to do anything physical I will a test to see if the cancer had indeed spread. S…

"We are all angels with just one wing. Only when we embrace each other can we fly."

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Flight



"STEPH"





I sometimes sit in pity on myself, and ask "why me?" That is when I realize that we are not privy to what turn our lives will take. One moment we can be sitting in our safe home and the next it could be flooding all around us...We can easily be washed up in sorrow. There is one thing I do know. I will never give up hope..and will not believe for one moment that medical prognosis' or diagnoses are the end to end all...We can actually shrink our 
tumors, with love and prayer and believing that it is not so.I recently went for a second opinion from a new oncologist. She nonchalantly walked into the exam room and all I could see on her face 





were her eyes, from the mask she was wearing. 

Her glassy, red, ill eyes peered out at me. I was shocked that a doctor could be so incompetent to expose her cancer patients to a nasty cold (flu) bug (she informed me that she had a nasty cold)..she spoke her words between my nose blowing, and didn't seem too concer…

Follow your dreams...

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The smell of the salt in the air
as I pick up my array of shells...
beckons me...
The winds blow my hair back,
...and I smile
the sea calls me
whispering to me
..to follow my heart...
to feel the colors that surround me
to paint the many hues that make up my life..

steph is going on a much needed holiday

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Is there more to life than flesh and bone?

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Lately I have been fascinated with the commments that have been posted on Madame Aracti's site regarding religion and spirituality. It is clear that this is a very sensitive subject.
I have recently been informed that yet another suspiscious and possible health scare must be addressed.
I can sit at home and feel sorry for myself..there is always that possibility, but will that help me, or others?
To get to the point. I have learned that helping others will always make you feel a spritual high. That is how I describe it.
I will not leave this world without a legacy...is there more to life than flesh and bone..you are damn right! It's what's inside that has an impact. Not what is written in a book. I truly believe that if we don't practice what we preach, we will see a rise in the population of "Forgotten Ones"...
From my viewpoint and hopefully others, the only religion that truly matters is love. When you love your fellow man it can cure disease, and bring o…