www.stephmastini/forgotten ones /

Six years today I had a double mastectomy with reconstruction.  I am truly blessed and I am still going strong....Living my life and looking forward to a much needed vacation. One thing I learned the last six years is to start saying no.  I have been taking care of everyone my whole life it seems ...started when I was nine and my sister was born. I was a young single parent of two, on top of that.  My Dad and Mom were also part of my care giving lifestyle.  Now, I have stepped back. We need to take care of ourselves and we forget sometimes. I didn't even realize I had cancer when I was caring for my father since all I did was run run run... I do not regret any of the time I have spent being a caregiver but now it's time for me.

I have been becoming a bit despondent lately and it has been a roller coaster ride....I have trouble sleeping, and than at about 2-3 pm (used to be 4 pm) everyday, I am hit with overwhelming fatigue...I can't keep my eyes open and it puts a fear in me when I get behind the wheel, but I have no choice..I must press on..Today was a good day; though the fatigue hit me hard at 3pm, I was happy to see a smiling and magnanimous plastic surgeon, caring and hopeful; what a difference from my last experience..He is kind and empathetic..he was wonderful, and his assistant was from Scarsdale , NY! my home town! I tried to hold back the tears, when I realized that the only way to find out the truth was to have my magnet expander's FINALLY taken out..it is a relief, but still, very frightening to be alone and facing a major surgery. A possiblity than after a approximately month of convalescing and not being able to do anything physical I will a test to see if the cancer had indeed sprea