Showing posts from March, 2009

when we must make choices....

I have been becoming a bit despondent lately and it has been a roller coaster ride....I have trouble sleeping, and than at about 2-3 pm (used to be 4 pm) everyday, I am hit with overwhelming fatigue...I can't keep my eyes open and it puts a fear in me when I get behind the wheel, but I have no choice..I must press on..Today was a good day; though the fatigue hit me hard at 3pm, I was happy to see a smiling and magnanimous plastic surgeon, caring and hopeful; what a difference from my last experience..He is kind and empathetic..he was wonderful, and his assistant was from Scarsdale, NY! my home town! I tried to hold back the tears, when I realized that the only way to find out the truth was to have my magnet expander's FINALLY taken is a relief, but still, very frightening to be alone and facing a major surgery. A possiblity than after a approximately month of convalescing and not being able to do anything physical I will a test to see if the cancer had indeed spread. S…

"We are all angels with just one wing. Only when we embrace each other can we fly."



I sometimes sit in pity on myself, and ask "why me?" That is when I realize that we are not privy to what turn our lives will take. One moment we can be sitting in our safe home and the next it could be flooding all around us...We can easily be washed up in sorrow. There is one thing I do know. I will never give up hope..and will not believe for one moment that medical prognosis' or diagnoses are the end to end all...We can actually shrink our 
tumors, with love and prayer and believing that it is not so.I recently went for a second opinion from a new oncologist. She nonchalantly walked into the exam room and all I could see on her face 

were her eyes, from the mask she was wearing. 

Her glassy, red, ill eyes peered out at me. I was shocked that a doctor could be so incompetent to expose her cancer patients to a nasty cold (flu) bug (she informed me that she had a nasty cold)..she spoke her words between my nose blowing, and didn't seem too concer…

Follow your dreams...

The smell of the salt in the air
as I pick up my array of shells...
beckons me...
The winds blow my hair back,
...and I smile
the sea calls me
whispering to me follow my heart...
to feel the colors that surround me
to paint the many hues that make up my life..