www.stephmastini/forgotten ones /

                                                                              Recently I started back on Aromasin and I am experiencing once again, pain and night sweats.  I saw this article and wanted to share it with all the women experiencing these debilitating side effects. I decided after talking it over with my oncologist, that it would be better to go back to this aromatase inhibitor after the five year suggested therapy I ended last year.  So yes, I am looking for answers and hopefully exercise will help with the side effects. Much research has shown that exercise, a healthy diet, and counseling can help women feel better, both during and after breast cancer treatment. A new study has found that exercise eases joint pain that can be a side effect of the aromatase...

Six years today I had a double mastectomy with reconstruction.  I am truly blessed and I am still going strong....Living my life and looking forward to a much needed vacation. One thing I learned the last six years is to start saying no.  I have been taking care of everyone my whole life it seems ...started when I was nine and my sister was born. I was a young single parent of two, on top of that.  My Dad and Mom were also part of my care giving lifestyle.  Now, I have stepped back. We need to take care of ourselves and we forget sometimes. I didn't even realize I had cancer when I was caring for my father since all I did was run run run... I do not regret any of the time I have spent being a caregiver but now it's time for me.

Hi everyone. Life has a way of throwing curve balls.  I just had one thrown directly between my eyes. I recently had my annual PET testing and CT scan and I was told that a small node was found on my right lung .  I asked my oncologist for more testing and he said I could "wait another six months".  I refuse to take that course and I am following up With a new oncologist and thoracic surgeon . My father passed away from lung cancer .  The word "wait" does not exist in my vocabulary. It's time for action. An update..I went for my colonoscopy last week and the biopsy shows that  I have four nodes, one is precancerous. They removed them  and I pray that it was in time ...I eat very well but stress is a huge component ..I didn't stress about my breast cancer but I have noticed that I have not been taking my life day by day.  I stress about the future. Time to stop that behavior since it only hurts me.

March 6th is my new birth date ; six years of cancer free living ~On that date I had my Mastectomy and reconstruction birthday ..( I just hit my eight year lumpectomy surgery this week.) It also happens to be the day my daughter, Cara Podenski is scheduled to give birth to her first child ... I see this as a sign . A miraculous beginning . I have called my daughter over and over, left messages and she has never returned or answered my calls. over the last 5 years. I do not block my number because I am not giving up hope that she will answer . I do not know of anything I have done and I have no answers.. I was even told I would be arrested if I came to her Wedding. Although I keep trying, I can't be the only one to mend this relationship between mother and daughter. What could I have done so terrible to deserve this exile. Nothing. I just know that I am to be a Grandmother, and I earned that right, but I also want my daughter to exorcise her demons for her ment...

Susan G. Komen for the Cure | Statement on Possible Association Between Breast Implants and Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma

“We skipped the light fandango turned cartwheels 'cross the floor I was feeling kinda seasick but the crowd called out for more..." -A Whiter Shade of Pale~ Procol Harem, 1967 Time has been good to me and it is on my side. Since I last updated, I have had surgery to replace the "ruptured" implants. My silicone implants were replaced with saline ones and to my shock, I was told by my surgeon with a snide tone that they were not ruptured. He proceeded to tell me that he could not find a leak, but the MRI scan said otherwise. He than accused me of having pre-breast reconstruction implants and that the silicone floating in my chest was from a previous rupture. I was unabashedly upset and he said that there was no other explanation. I protested and told him that was not the case. I was outraged the more he persisted. I have to admit I was in tears after he removed the bandages.. Months lapsed and a few stitches were not dissolved. The cosmetic look was not to my...

Regrettably I don't know how but discovered today that my blog has been tampered with and this post and one other are gone.  I will attempt to recant my ordeal and the sadness that comes with the realization that once again I had to undergo major surgery ...It happened slowly in Washington State in 2009 believe it or not..I started seeping silicone through the outer layer of the Mentor implants.  I recall asking my oncologist to check me out over and over and numerous ultra sounds were done but nothing was found because of the testing technique. Finally over a year later of constant uncomfortable sound in the back of my head saying keep pushing..there is something wrong. When I moved to GA I found a surgeon that almost seemed that she was pacifying me by allowing me after undergoing another ultra sound, that maybe there was something to this dark gloom that I kept feeling.  I honestly don't know how I knew but I...

I have been busy going through old photos, and journals lately. I have commiserated on all aspects of how to get it all together in some sort of order. How can I put all my life stories on the blank pages of yet unfinished memoirs. That is my debacle. It is overwhelming. I have felt joy, love, anger, frustration, but I have never given up hope. There has been a bevy of comments written about me and I have reveled in the joy of living my life by my rules. I live to feel my fingertips abound with colors that illuminate my life, but lately those colors have turned murky. I don't know why I feel so deeply about the joys and sorrows of others, but I do. I am lucky to have been loved in my lifetime. Deeply. I want to shout out to the world that one should ever give up, but I find myself barraged by the past and I need to go forward. I am in a rain puddle and can't seem to tip toe out of it, and dry myself off. I guess the angst I am feeling should be a blessing to my art, but now it ...

Here we go round the Merry-Go-Round I realize it has been quite an emotional few months since I last wrote.  It has been a challenge adjusting to my new environment. The Northwest can be very beautiful but also very depressing because of the lack of sun. I truly believe that the weather can truly changes one's mood and I found myself sinking deep in an abyss. I became very depressed and despondent and ostracized myself from the outside. I am trying now to get back on the "happiness" road. It's not easy. The cancer medications can create all kinds of side effects including bone pain and that played a big factor with my emotional and mental state. I went off the Aromasin, (an aromatase inhibitor medication) and my horrible bone pain went away for a month! I decided to go back on because the fear of another cancer over rides the physical pain. Yes, it can be debilitating, but when I was asked to weigh the two, I opted to get through the next 3 years on medication. ...

Well, here I am currently abiding on a coastline...far away.. How did I get here..I think that destiny has brought me here, yet I am cold and it's dark and dreary most of the time. I have realized that I am resting. Sometimes it's a long way down before we can get the strength to get back up. I have developed my strength to say no to the toxic people that I have encountered in my life and I have learned since my last cancer that I enjoy my own company. I believe that this is the key to happiness. This "Little Norway" venue is quiet and has given me time to reflect on my life and accomplishments and most importantly how I can make a difference. I have tried to connect with my family but I have had a light bulb moment and realized that it's not something I did, and people in general can be cruel, even family...no, I am not mad any longer or sad. I am ambivalent, and very tired . I have travelled out here to connect with my daughter and sister. I was met with an ...

Dear God, I pray for the cure of cancer. Amen/ In memory of anyone you know that has been struck down by cancer or is still living with it.  I have recently been reminded that I have inherited the breast cancer gene. I have encouraged my daughter to be tested, as well as my sister...I pray that they heed my advise. It is Breast cancer month and we should all be aware that modern medicine has give us the gift of a prick of a needle and a potential cancer can be stopped in it's tracks.. There is a very high percentage of woman that have opted to have prophylactic mastectomies to avoid this insidious disease. I am on a campaign to bring this knowledge to as many women as possible..please, heed my advise and spend the time and yes, even the money if needed, to discover if your chances to fight for your life and be a "thriver" is in your future.  There is a very high percentage of woman that have opted to have prophylactic mastectomies to avoid this insidious dis...

I have not disappeared into outerspace everyone....I had some surgery and developed an infection from the IV, and unable to get out of a sling for quite awhile ...also there's the moving thing~ I went to visit my brother in Northern GA a few weeks ago and we had a great time.. I realized that we never really knew each other at all, in the past. It has been a long haul to get back to being brother and sister...he is the only real sibling I have...I learned that life is so much nicer when life is simpler..and slower. Now I must decide where to move and it's killing me. I should be happy and jumping out of my skin. No responsibilities, except what I want to do. That's a first!..and it would be nice to be near my neice and nephew....but I have to be selfish for once anad think about many things that may compromise my medical condition... If I do move to the South, I am once again, donating alot of my furniture to women in safe homes..I have been so busy getting this co...

Lately I have been feeling down feeling sorry for myself but than I looked out the window a rainbow had appeared and that is when I realized that I was put on this earth to help others...get through the hard times, but also to dream, create,and live each day as if I had been given a gift..to live in the present..how much more can I ask for.... I am hoping that I can be a spiritual warrior for others.. right now, I am trying to travel that path alone..and alone is not where I need to be. Crisis teaches us to travel to a better place; it is a beginning of a new time in our lives.

I had my second surgery two weeks ago. I have been thinking how lucky I was this time with my choice of a new surgeon. It truly matters implicitly, who you choose. It is so important to have a team around you that really respects you. I was treated with dignity and the little questions that the surgeon didn't tell me, were answered by my fellow NewYorker plastic surgeon's nurse..it meant so much when I woke up from my surgery, and she was standing there sporting a smile and sense of concern. She was carrying a bag of pretty bras for me to adorn myself. I smiled and realized that sometimes we must drive through the storm to see the sun... I have much more to let you in on... I would like any questions regarding reconstruction, no matter how small you might think they are...believe me, they are not..to the placing of pillows when you sleep to how much you should and can do, and for how long..the smallest things can mean so much...ex. don't count on anyone coming to...

I have been becoming a bit despondent lately and it has been a roller coaster ride....I have trouble sleeping, and than at about 2-3 pm (used to be 4 pm) everyday, I am hit with overwhelming fatigue...I can't keep my eyes open and it puts a fear in me when I get behind the wheel, but I have no choice..I must press on..Today was a good day; though the fatigue hit me hard at 3pm, I was happy to see a smiling and magnanimous plastic surgeon, caring and hopeful; what a difference from my last experience..He is kind and empathetic..he was wonderful, and his assistant was from Scarsdale , NY! my home town! I tried to hold back the tears, when I realized that the only way to find out the truth was to have my magnet expander's FINALLY taken out..it is a relief, but still, very frightening to be alone and facing a major surgery. A possiblity than after a approximately month of convalescing and not being able to do anything physical I will a test to see if the cancer had indeed sprea...

Flight  "STEPH" I sometimes sit in pity on myself, and ask "why me?" That is when I realize that we are not privy to what turn our lives will take. One moment we can be sitting in our safe home and the next it could be flooding all around us...We can easily be washed up in sorrow. There is one thing I do know. I will never give up hope..and will not believe for one moment that medical prognosis' or diagnoses are the end to end all...We can actually shrink our  tumors, with love and prayer and believing that it is not so.I recently went for a second opinion from a new oncologist. She nonchalantly walked into the exam room and all I could see on her face were her eyes, from the mask she was wearing.  Her glassy, red, ill eyes peered out at me. I was shocked that a doctor could be so incompetent to expose her cancer patients to a nasty cold (flu) bug (she informed me that she had a nasty cold)..she spoke her words between my nose blowing, and did...

The smell of the salt in the air as I pick up my array of shells... beckons me... The winds blow my hair back, ...and I smile the sea calls me whispering to me ..to follow my heart... to feel the colors that surround me to paint the many hues that make up my life..

Lately I have been fascinated with the commments that have been posted on Madame Aracti's site regarding religion and spirituality. It is clear that this is a very sensitive subject. I have recently been informed that yet another suspiscious and possible health scare must be addressed. I can sit at home and feel sorry for myself..there is always that possibility, but will that help me, or others? To get to the point. I have learned that helping others will always make you feel a spritual high. That is how I describe it. I will not leave this world without a legacy...is there more to life than flesh and bone..you are damn right! It's what's inside that has an impact. Not what is written in a book. I truly believe that if we don't practice what we preach, we will see a rise in the population of "Forgotten Ones"... From my viewpoint and hopefully others, the only religion that truly matters is love. When you love your fellow man it can cure disease, and bri...